THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize