Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
