i just had sex bonerless
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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