Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm passing your future prison.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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