His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
