So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
