note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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