My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
