just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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