I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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