Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
