Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
