That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
