Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
