it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
