so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
