One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
