Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
