Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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