Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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