I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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