I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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