I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
