We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
