the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
