i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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