What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
