even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
