Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
