Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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