how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
