Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
