I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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