Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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