dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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