I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize