I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
