Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he thought i was a dude.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize