Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
