ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
