I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
