Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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