I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
