my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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