whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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