I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
