remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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