I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
