So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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