my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize