are you so shy because you have an std?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think i got beer on your cat.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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