There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
