Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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