By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
