hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
