on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
