What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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