Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
