yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize