he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
