He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
