I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
