dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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