A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
