State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
