yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
