I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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