Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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