I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Randomize
