he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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