it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
