I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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