Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
