i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
