So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
