I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am spending my child support on dildos
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
