Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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