He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
