Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
