Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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